blurrinq:

Sleep. Social Life. Good Grades.
Pick 2

(via distraction)

  • WiFi: connected
  • Me: then fucking act like it

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer."

(via theeesammxg)

  • Me: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
  • Teacher: Of course not
  • Me: Good, because i didn't do my homework

You’re a Bitch

You’re a Bit

You’re a

You’re

You

Yo

Y

Yo

You

You’re

You’re a

You’re a Bi

You’re a Bitch

Oh look ,You’re still a Bitch

(Source: princeturtogo, via theeesammxg)

thechurchofbobsaget:

I think “dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult. Like, I’d call you a dick but you’re not real enough.

(via fitlilolive)